"Happy New Year!" What does this really mean? I mean does the fact the clock strikes twelve erase all of the crap we have done or been through in the last 365 days? Of course not! So why do we try to act like it does? Like just because you write "08" instead of "07" for the year on a form it enables you to start fresh and make all of these life changes. Why do we need a certain day? Why can't we just realize we need to make changes in our lives and...oh I don't know...DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT instead of using the cheap ass excuse that you will start on January 1st. Even when it is June for God's sake! Come on folks. To me it is yet another reason for people to procrastinate. Not a holiday.
I just...don't...get it.
I have been back at work since Monday and it has been both hard and yet so great at the same time. I have not used my legs like this for over two weeks and it really makes a big difference. It has taken some time to get used to walking normal which you would think shouldn't be so difficult. And yet no matter how bad it can get it is still fifty times better than a great day filing paperwork.
The kids will be here on Saturday morning! It will only be for a week but hey I'll take it. it has been since the beginning of August so I am very much so looking forward to it. I will try to have pictures after they go back.
Merry Christmas to everyone!
The crutches that is. On Wednesday I went to the doctor and he told me to start weening off using them. I felt like I won the damn lotto! My armpits were sooooo relieved. I also had my first physical therapy appointment today. After many little tests he told me that there was nothing torn, he could tell where I was hurt, that it used to be a lot worse and that it was healing great. He also told me that he didn't think I should be on the crutches at all any more and that, in his opinion, I should be able to return to work by the end of next week. Of course it will be up to the doctor that I will be seeing on Wednesday afternoon.
I am feeling much better. I am so happy that tonight I was able to vacuum tonight when I got home. It was driving me nuts! I know I am pitiful. I am not sure whether it was because I really needed to do it( like I have said before It relaxes me) or because I was told that I couldn't. Either way I am pitiful. Happy...but pitiful.
A couple of days ago I was looking through little bit of clothes that I have to try and find something to wear to church. Because I was bored from not being able to do much with my knee hurt and all I decided to jokingly try on some of my clothes I had kept from when I wasn't so big. You know the "when I lose some weight I will be able to wear this again so I will just hold on to it." clothes we all keep in that certain section of out closets. We do all do that right?... Anyone?...Anyone?...Bueller?...OK...Anyway I started putting them on and to my amazement they were fitting me! I was so damn happy I almost forgot that I needed my crutches to walk. That wouldn't have gone very well for the whole healing thing. I crutched myself into the wife's craft room to tell her wearing an outfit I wore when we first started dating 10 years ago! Even she was shocked. I actually wore it today to church.
Yesterday I limped into work, got the paperwork to fill out and was sent right to the emergency room to start the ridiculous reprocess. I was there from 7:40am until almost 2 in the afternoon and all they did was x-ray my knee, waited over 3 hours for the results( they were so busy they didn't see that the computers were acting up), slapped a knee immobilizer on my leg, gave me two prescriptions (one for 800mg motrin that would kill my liver since I have diabetes and Percocet that I would never take) and sent me on my way with some crutches. They told me I sprained my knee and I needed to stay off of it so it can heal. When I was done with that I, because of the ridiculous process, had to call the loss prevention lady and tell her what the doctor came up with. I was ready to kill her when she told me that after waiting in the ER for what seemed forever I still had to go to their medical clinic in order to get their "official" doctor assessment. She said they don't consider the er's judgement worth the paper it was written on when it comes to on the job injury situations.
WHAT THE HELL WAS THE POINT OF SENDING ME TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM IN THE FIRST PLACE?!!!!!!
Anyway, the people at the clinic thoroughly checked out my knee. The doctor told me my bones and tendons are fine and that nothing seems to be damaged as far as the cartlidge is concerned which made me feel very relived. He did say that he could tell that I definently sprained it though and that I needed to stay off of it for at least a week in order to let it properly heal. He said my knee was weakened and if I didn't stay off of it there would be a good chance for me to tear something that would require surgery to fix it. I'm thinking I'm going to go for the whole letting it heal properly thing.
Well after being on these @#$%^! crutches for a little over a day I am officially in total pain. Ironically it isn't my knee. My armpits, ribcage, chest, shoulders, stomach muscles and my right leg feel like I owed my bookie money and Knuckles came to collect it for him. Using the crutches makes me use parts of my body in ways that I haven't done since that night when my wife and I...oh I forgot. I wasn't supposed to "ever mention that again". Sorry Babe it just almost slipped out...Oops! Sorry again Babe. I'm really not trying to reveal our little secret.Honest.
I am going to end this before I go too far...Oops again.
So there I was doing my job the same way I always do. Pushing my usual cart( my third one of the day)full of just some of the many things the Surgery department needs to run when out of the blue I feel something pop in my left knee. I have ZERO idea what the hell happened. I wasn't doing anything unsafe or crazy that would make any of this make sense. I am a little bit freaked out. Tomorrow I have to go into work and fill out a novel of paperwork for an on the job injury, go to the ER and hope for the best. I can bring as many needle, scopes and other painful things but I am a huge wimp when it comes to having any of it used on me. And I DO mean any of it. On top of it all I hate feeling useless. More than I usually am anyway. Last time, when I was in a car accident, I was out from work for six weeks and I almost lost what little bit of mind I have left because I felt like a good for nothing waste of life. The idea this could happen again pisses me off and makes me sick at the same time. I am a man who has to feel like I have and can accomplish something.
Wish me luck folks.
This is concerned, wimpy and frustrated signing out.
As most of you know I was recently told (the middle of October)that I have diabetes and that both my cholesterol and triglycerides were at very dangerous levels. Plus I my weight has gone up over the years as well(I was fluctuating between 240 and 242). From that day I have made a complete 180 in the way I eat and do things. It has been very hard for me to basically change the habits that I have formed over the last 35 years of my life but I really have so much to live for. I have my beautiful and supportive wife who WILL make a great mom some day( and has been a great step mom) and I have two kids that need me(I need them too). We have always been very blessed compared to how it is for others.
It has been a month now and I am a whole lot better! I am not so damn tired all of the time and I do not feel like crap any more. I weighed myself this morning and I was shocked. I now weigh 227!!!!!!! I can't believe it! It has seriously been almost ten years since I have weighed less than 230. I am so shocked and proud of myself. I have about 20 more to go and I am going to do this.
I am not totally sure why but today has hit me a little harder than usual. I talk to them on the phone every Monday and Thursday. Everything is usually very routine. Today, however, as I was listening to my daughters little voice I had this rush of emotions come over me of how I just wanted to give her a great big hug and that I will have to wait another month and a half to be able to do it. It depressed the hell out of me. My ex sent me these pictures of my son jumping a ramp while on his skates and helmet on and my daughter wearing her "pirate queen" costume for Halloween. I guess it helped me missing them when I am seeing the things I am missing out on. They might be small things but they are big to me.
Just wanted to remind you that at the end of this month my Typepad blog(this one) will be ending. My new FREE blog and my blog dedicated to my ribbon holders and more business, that are made by the same company who made Typepad, are already started. I hope to see all of you there taking a peak. Let me know you stopped by and tell a friend ;)
Plus I want to thank everyone who have been so supportive about my health issues. Finding out I have diabetes on Friday was and still is freaking me out. I am really trying hard to get used to all of the many things I have to do and remember. The habits I have developed over the passed 35 years are extremely hard to suddenly change for the rest of my life. Baby steps I guess.
