My son Jeffrey Jr. came back home today after being with his mom for the first time for just a visit. It is bitter sweet for me. He was supposed to go there and hopefully have a healthier relationship with his mom who hasn't seen him for seven months and supposedly missed him (they have had a pretty rocky relationship compared to most because she favors our daughter a lot). Unfortunately it was business as usual within the first week(the visit was for five). While he was there he told me on the phone that besides being able to see his friends he missed he was looking forward to coming home to us where he was treated fairly and shown that he is cared about. He didn't tell me until there was only a couple of weeks left because he kept hoping it would get better.
This is why I say bitter sweet. When he told me what was going on over there I was of course sickened that my ex would blow such a big opportunity to make up for some very lost time and mistakes she should have thought about after he decided to move away from her(He jumped at the first chance he was told he had). On the other hand it did make me feel kind of good to know that we must be doing something right for him to want to be here rules, discipline, love(lots of love) and all.
He is a very good kid with a good head on his shoulders and a very big heart. I am very glad he is home.
It is 4:15am here in Las Vegas and I am still up. I can't sleep very well lately because I have a whole lot on my mind. In just a few hours both my son and my daughter will be getting on a plane and heading to see their mom. My son(who lives with us now) will be back in five weeks. My daughter won't be back for five months(Christmas time and even then it will only be for about a week). It used to be that I had them both for the whole summer but I had to give up half of my precious time with my daughter in order to save my son. I REALLY hated to have to do it like that but it was the only way my ex would agree to let me take custody of him and he was doing pretty bad with her. I would love to get my daughter back as well but my ex won't let her go. She just turned 11 and the legal age for her to be able to make her own decision is 14. She is also very upset to have to go home so soon. She says she feels like she didn't have enough time with us before and now she has to suffer even more for her brother choosing a better life for himself.
The only up to the whole thing is that I will be able to be with my wife without being pulled in three different directions like I am when the kids are here too. It is really hard to find a happy balance because it seems that no matter what I do one or more people end up feeling neglected. God forbid I take some of the free time I get and actually use it to have some me time in the garage! I get it from all three that I should be with them and not out there. It is funny how it works sometimes. If they feel like being alone and mentally unwinding without you it should just be understood but if YOU do the same to THEM you are somehow not showing them you care.
Either way I feel like the six weeks that I did have with Abigail flew by waaaay too fast. We went from "Don't worry. We still have plenty of time" to "I can't believe you have to leave already".
I know it has been a long time(as usual). Those of you who really know me know that I talk waaaaaaay more than I write. In fact it just might have something to do with why I am never blogging. I would discuss this with someone, but it would most likely mean that I wouldn't finish this entry that I am doing right...........just kidding. I am seriously very busy though. Between raising my son( who has been getting straight "A"s since I got him here and is going to be inducted into the Honors Society next week), playing drums and singing in our newer(and much better because all of the egos were left with the old one) church group every week, trying to be a good husband(arm candy at hospital events for the new manager of Pediatrics), trying to get my Creations by Jeff business going(creationsbyjeff.vox.com), being a dad to my daughter long distance and working full time at my job keeping the very busy Surgery Department at the hospital supplied (no pressure there) I some how find time to breathe.
I have a pretty crazy life. A very blessed life but still very crazy at times. On May 31st my little girl(no not my wife even though she is only five feet tall) is coming to visit us for 6 weeks. I have really missed her and I can't wait to hug her. Because her birthday is on the 30th(she will be 11) we are having her birthday party the day she gets here. There is lots to do to prepare for this. Besides getting the house ready I am making her something just from me. It is too hard to describe so I will post pictures of it when I get it all done. It is really cheesey but she is into that kind of stuff. Per Abby's request Cynthia will be taking her to get their nails done. It has become a tradition for them. My son is building her a night stand for her room which will be much better than the toy box she has been using. I am only "helping him"(wink wink). Th food will be pretty simple this year. Pizzas from Costco, the chocolate fountain and of course a home made cake(she wants to help Cynthia make it).
Well now you have pretty much been caught up with me. The sad thing is that IS the short version. I am sorry that I have not been able to get to your blogs lately. I am trying
In October, right on my 35th birthday, I was told by my doctor that I was in really bad shape. My blood tests came back to reveal that my cholesterol, triglycerides and my glucose were at very high levels and that I was clearly diabetic. He told me that if it weren't for how physical my job is I could have dropped dead a few years ago and that I wasn't very far from doing it now. He flat out told me that whatever I had been doing in my life as far my eating habits had to stop and change now or I would be dead very soon. He sent me away to classes for the diabetes and gave me medicine for that and my cholesterol. I hadn't been so freaked out and scared like that since I was robbed where they duct taped me on the floor, put a gun to the back of my head and smashed my face into the ground so I could hardly breathe. This news also made me realize and treasure all of the people and things in my life that I had taken for granted which gave me major motivation to get healthy.
What a difference four months makes. Since October I have lost weight(still have a looong way to go), eaten dramatically better, and it is crazy how much better I feel! Now that I know I am diabetic and how to control it I am no longer tired all of the time, shaky, dizzy and my clothes fit better just to name a few things. It is funny that I didn't realize I was so bad until I see how good I feel now and how big a difference it is. I had my blood work redone a week ago and the doctor was in serious shock at the results. We sat down together and compare the numbers from four months ago and now and I am happy to report that,according to the doctor, my blood is perfect! He said I literally have done a 180(degrees) turnaround and that he never thought they were going to be as good as they were. That the test look like they were done on two completely different people, and in a way he is right.
Before my son was living back here in Las Vegas he was very lazy in many ways thanks to his mom. All he did was either play outside with his friends or be inside in his room playing with both his video games and his own personal computer. All of this was only allowed by his mother when he told her that he was done with his all of his homework, he was doing well in school and that his room was clean. Of course there was no way the kid could have possibly been lying to her. No need to actually check his homework, his grades or whether or not you could see the floor in his room. Right?
Wrong! What the hell was she thinking?!
The same thing has been happening for so long that it is all he has ever known. "How do I get away with it?" has been his only challenge for the past decade...Until now. I told him the day he got off the plane that his lazy days were over. He has been here for a month now. He has lost weight and his Ds and Fs are now straight As. It is funny how checking up on him everyday, A.K.A. parenting, actually works. He said that he has never had all As before. I told him,"you're welcome".
In about 23 hours from now my son will land here in Las Vegas in the mental and physical mode of "coming home" instead of "coming to visit" for the first time in over eight years. Even though he and his sister have been living with their mom in Missouri I have always considered Las Vegas to be their home. I say this because this is where their mother and I were married when they were born and lived the first part of their lives. If I had the means at the time they would have never left here unless they were visiting their mom.
Either way I am both really excited and nervous at the same time. I have been looking forward to this day that I sometimes wondered would ever come. On top of that I am a little worried if I will be the full time father that he needs. I will have to take it as it goes. I just have to keep it in my mind that he chose to come live with me for a reason.
Well folks, it's official. My son will be here in about a week. He has decided to come back to live in his hometown of Las Vegas. I am both very happy and sad because as much as I am looking forward to being able watch and help my son finish grow up I am very upset that my little girl will not be coming with him. Please say some prayers for a smooth transition.
For ten years now I have not had my my kids living with me due to a very needed divorce from my ex. For the last 8 their mother took them with her to Missouri. Doing this limited me to only being able to see my kids three times a year. My she has tried to send our son to us a few times in the past (only when he gives her attitude) but has always refused to even think of my daughter leaving her side. Because I have always felt that the kids need each other I have never taken her up on it. My son is now 14 and is of legal age to decide where he wants to live but my daughter is only 10.
Recently my wife and I have decided that it was unfair to make my son wait until his sister is 14 ( he will already be graduating high school and on his way to college by then). We have decided to offer my son the option to come here without his sister. He is both excited and upset at the same time and so am I. The idea of having my son here, being able to do more things with him, having a better chance at shaping him as a person, going to his games etc is something I have been praying for since the day I had to let them go. However, the idea of leaving my little girl there by herself with their mother and away from her brother (except for her visits) makes me feel like a selfish peice of crap father. It bothers my son as well. We both know that a big part of her wants to come too but she has zero legal say yet and she would miss her mom a whole lot. Living with her mom and only visiting me is all she has ever known because she was only months old when I decided I couldn't be married to her mom anymore. My emotions are sooo back and forth on this.
There has not been any final decisions yet so please say some prayers for this crazy situation.
