This Is Me

This is bullsh*@!

nobody@vox.com(Jeff) — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 21:11:04 -0700

I have been working for my company for twenty years now. TWENTY YEARS! I have stayed because of the job security that it has offered and I have needed. About ten years ago they decided to take away our longevity bonuses which really sucked because it was the only thing that really made me feel like it mattered that I dedicated myself to them. Five years ago was fifteen years for me. Was there a big check for me? Nope. Just a mini catalog of things to choose from "for my many years of service". It wouldn't have been so bad if the choices were better than something I can buy myself for $30!

This month I have reached twenty years. Now for some reason I thought they would at least do SOMETHING really big for twenty years. I guess that is what I get for thinking. I opened my mail today to find yet ANOTHER insulting catalog(check out the website at www.awardselect.com/c.jsp?

0000119981e8) with the same type of cheap crap to chose from! Maybe it shouldn't but it really makes me feel like I and what I have done all of this time has never mattered. For a company that says things like"we are all one big family" they sure know how to make a person feel like a number.

Don't get me wrong. I fully understand that I am very blessed to have had a job for so long. Especially with how bad this nation is doing right now. I guess I am just feeling sorry for myself. I just REALLY wanted SOMETHING BIG to represent what I think is such a BIG event.

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And believe it or not I don't even work for their marketing office.

nobody@vox.com(Jeff) — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 00:29:06 -0700

I am laying on the couch feeling like a beach whale from eating waaaay too much at the buffet tonight. Being born and raised here in Las Vegas all casinos and buffets seem all alike...until now. If you haven't been to the "M" you really need to go. It is by far the classiest casino here(and yet you can be there in shorts and a t shirt and not feel under dressed). The views of Vegas at night are pretty hard to beat too. Their buffet was fantastic! I hate seafood and usually the nicer and more expensive ones are about 80% that and almost nothing for me to chose from. This one had plenty of seafood(they also have a "seafood buffet" on certain nights) and a very big selection of everything else for people like me. It also has free beer and wine available if you want. The quality of the food was also very good. Most of the time when you go to something like this, because the variety is there, the quality of the food sucks.

One of the best parts of the whole thing was that they have a deal going on where if you just sign up for their free players rewards card(it only took like two minutes)you can get into the buffet for free the first time which is usually $23.

Bottom line. Great place, great food and we WILL be back again.

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Great news, bad news, good news

nobody@vox.com(Jeff) — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 21:47:26 -0700

Great news: Thank you all again for all of your thoughts and prayers. My mom's surgery was a complete success and she had zero problem waking up! YEAAAAAA! This has taken a big load of stress off of me.

Bad news: So I went to go home after being there for 11 hours and as I get closer to my Jeep I realize that my glove compartment was sitting open. When I got all the way up to it I saw that not only was everything out of it all over the place but my stereo and CD holder(it held 40 CDs) were stolen! Plus when the piece of crap took the stereo he or she broke part of my dashboard. I was and still am shocked and pissed at the same time. I went back into the hospital, got security to come outside to take pictures and we both filled out reports. They even had surveillance video and were going to look at it tonight.

Good news: Even though I feel violated(and not in a good way. heh heh) I am also laughing. Except for one or two the CDs were all copies so no huge loss there and my stereo was about TEN YEARS OLD! It scratched up my CDs (that is why I had copies) and there was no way fro me to play my I pod through it. My stuff wasn't worth enough money for the jerk or bitch to get a half of a puff of Crack! I wish I could have been there when he or she got home and realized what he or she had in his or her hands.

The ironic thing is that I have always made a joke that I wished someone would steal my stereo so that I would have an excuse to get one made in the last decade.

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I am very nervous and a big fat mess!

nobody@vox.com(Jeff) — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 01:48:14 -0700

I am very nervous about my mom's surgery tomorrow. She is having both of her knees completely replaced and will be under anesthesia for about 4-5 hours. Actually the anesthesia part is what concerns me the most because there is always a chance for something to go wrong. I will be going crazy until she is awake and talking to us but I have to put on an act for my father who has not slept well since the day they decided to do this.

My dad is diabetic(just like me)and when he gets nervous, upset or preoccupied he completely spaces eating. Usually my mom is the one who is there to fight with him to make sure he eats and doesn't get sick but she will be a little busy. Because I know my dad pretty well( and of course I wanted to be there for my mom) I took the day off to temporarily fill in for her and make him eat.

I have to admit that diabetes is far from the only thing I got from my dad. I know that I also have the same behavior with eating on time as I mentioned above(just to name one), so making sure HE eats will actually help ME remember for myself. To be honest I have been very preoccupied lately. Between one of my brothers being very sick and my mom's surgery my mind has been going a mile a minute. I can't sleep well sometimes. I have so many thoughts and emotions going on about everything all at the same time about all of this on top of my wife, my kids, my job, my music group, my work in the garage etc. I am very emotionally drained and it has effected many parts of my life. I try to focus but then I get a phone call or something that sidetracks my my mind. This surgery things will be over with tomorrow and that should hopefully level me out a lot.

My family can use some prayers.

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Safe and sound

nobody@vox.com(Jeff) — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 02:44:31 -0700

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My son Jeffrey Jr. came back home today after being with his mom for the first time for just a visit. It is bitter sweet for me. He was supposed to go there and hopefully have a healthier relationship with his mom who hasn't seen him for seven months and supposedly missed him (they have had a pretty rocky relationship compared to most because she favors our daughter a lot). Unfortunately it was business as usual within the first week(the visit was for five). While he was there he told me on the phone that besides being able to see his friends he missed he was looking forward to coming home to us where he was treated fairly and shown that he is cared about. He didn't tell me until there was only a couple of weeks left because he kept hoping it would get better.

This is why I say bitter sweet. When he told me what was going on over there I was of course sickened that my ex would blow such a big opportunity to make up for some very lost time and mistakes she should have thought about after he decided to move away from her(He jumped at the first chance he was told he had). On the other hand it did make me feel kind of good to know that we must be doing something right for him to want to be here rules, discipline, love(lots of love) and all.

He is a very good kid with a good head on his shoulders and a very big heart. I am very glad he is home.

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Where did the time go?

nobody@vox.com(Jeff) — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 10:24:43 -0700

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It is 4:15am here in Las Vegas and I am still up. I can't sleep very well lately because I have a whole lot on my mind. In just a few hours both my son and my daughter will be getting on a plane and heading to see their mom. My son(who lives with us now) will be back in five weeks. My daughter won't be back for five months(Christmas time and even then it will only be for about a week). It used to be that I had them both for the whole summer but I had to give up half of my precious time with my daughter in order to save my son. I REALLY hated to have to do it like that but it was the only way my ex would agree to let me take custody of him and he was doing pretty bad with her. I would love to get my daughter back as well but my ex won't let her go. She just turned 11 and the legal age for her to be able to make her own decision is 14. She is also very upset to have to go home so soon. She says she feels like she didn't have enough time with us before and now she has to suffer even more for her brother choosing a better life for himself.

The only up to the whole thing is that I will be able to be with my wife without being pulled in three different directions like I am when the kids are here too. It is really hard to find a happy balance because it seems that no matter what I do one or more people end up feeling neglected. God forbid I take some of the free time I get and actually use it to have some me time in the garage! I get it from all three that I should be with them and not out there. It is funny how it works sometimes. If they feel like being alone and mentally unwinding without you it should just be understood but if YOU do the same to THEM you are somehow not showing them you care.

Either way I feel like the six weeks that I did have with Abigail flew by waaaay too fast. We went from "Don't worry. We still have plenty of time" to "I can't believe you have to leave already".

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Plenty to do

nobody@vox.com(Jeff) — Thu, 22 May 2008 00:15:11 -0700

I know it has been a long time(as usual). Those of you who really know me know that I talk waaaaaaay more than I write. In fact it just might have something to do with why I am never blogging. I would discuss this with someone, but it would most likely mean that I wouldn't finish this entry that I am doing right...........just kidding. I am seriously very busy though. Between raising my son( who has been getting straight "A"s since I got him here and is going to be inducted into the Honors Society next week), playing drums and singing in our newer(and much better because all of the egos were left with the old one) church group every week, trying to be a good husband(arm candy at hospital events for the new manager of Pediatrics), trying to get my Creations by Jeff business going(creationsbyjeff.vox.com), being a dad to my daughter long distance and working full time at my job keeping the very busy Surgery Department at the hospital supplied (no pressure there) I some how find time to breathe.

I have a pretty crazy life. A very blessed life but still very crazy at times. On May 31st my little girl(no not my wife even though she is only five feet tall) is coming to visit us for 6 weeks. I have really missed her and I can't wait to hug her. Because her birthday is on the 30th(she will be 11) we are having her birthday party the day she gets here. There is lots to do to prepare for this. Besides getting the house ready I am making her something just from me. It is too hard to describe so I will post pictures of it when I get it all done. It is really cheesey but she is into that kind of stuff. Per Abby's request Cynthia will be taking her to get their nails done. It has become a tradition for them. My son is building her a night stand for her room which will be much better than the toy box she has been using. I am only "helping him"(wink wink). Th food will be pretty simple this year. Pizzas from Costco, the chocolate fountain and of course a home made cake(she wants to help Cynthia make it).

Well now you have pretty much been caught up with me. The sad thing is that IS the short version. I am sorry that I have not been able to get to your blogs lately. I am trying

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I'm a changed man

nobody@vox.com(Jeff) — Sat, 23 Feb 2008 23:59:27 -0700

In October, right on my 35th birthday, I was told by my doctor that I was in really bad shape. My blood tests came back to reveal that my cholesterol, triglycerides and my glucose were at very high levels and that I was clearly diabetic. He told me that if it weren't for how physical my job is I could have dropped dead a few years ago and that I wasn't very far from doing it now. He flat out told me that whatever I had been doing in my life as far my eating habits had to stop and change now or I would be dead very soon. He sent me away to classes for the diabetes and gave me medicine for that and my cholesterol. I hadn't been so freaked out and scared like that since I was robbed where they duct taped me on the floor, put a gun to the back of my head and smashed my face into the ground so I could hardly breathe. This news also made me realize and treasure all of the people and things in my life that I had taken for granted which gave me major motivation to get healthy.

What a difference four months makes. Since October I have lost weight(still have a looong way to go), eaten dramatically better, and it is crazy how much better I feel! Now that I know I am diabetic and how to control it I am no longer tired all of the time, shaky, dizzy and my clothes fit better just to name a few things. It is funny that I didn't realize I was so bad until I see how good I feel now and how big a difference it is. I had my blood work redone a week ago and the doctor was in serious shock at the results. We sat down together and compare the numbers from four months ago and now and I am happy to report that,according to the doctor, my blood is perfect! He said I literally have done a 180(degrees) turnaround and that he never thought they were going to be as good as they were. That the test look like they were done on two completely different people, and in a way he is right.

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Ahhhh. That is much better.

nobody@vox.com(Jeff) — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 00:09:23 -0700

Before my son was living back here in Las Vegas he was very lazy in many ways thanks to his mom. All he did was either play outside with his friends or be inside in his room playing with both his video games and his own personal computer. All of this was only allowed by his mother when he told her that he was done with his all of his homework, he was doing well in school and that his room was clean. Of course there was no way the kid could have possibly been lying to her. No need to actually check his homework, his grades or whether or not you could see the floor in his room. Right?

Wrong! What the hell was she thinking?!

The same thing has been happening for so long that it is all he has ever known. "How do I get away with it?" has been his only challenge for the past decade...Until now. I told him the day he got off the plane that his lazy days were over. He has been here for a month now. He has lost weight and his Ds and Fs are now straight As. It is funny how checking up on him everyday, A.K.A. parenting, actually works. He said that he has never had all As before. I told him,"you're welcome".

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23 Hours

nobody@vox.com(Jeff) — Sun, 13 Jan 2008 20:36:04 -0700

In about 23 hours from now my son will land here in Las Vegas in the mental and physical mode of "coming home" instead of "coming to visit" for the first time in over eight years. Even though he and his sister have been living with their mom in Missouri I have always considered Las Vegas to be their home. I say this because this is where their mother and I were married when they were born and lived the first part of their lives. If I had the means at the time they would have never left here unless they were visiting their mom.

Either way I am both really excited and nervous at the same time. I have been looking forward to this day that I sometimes wondered would ever come. On top of that I am a little worried if I will be the full time father that he needs. I will have to take it as it goes. I just have to keep it in my mind that he chose to come live with me for a reason.

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